pjvj (pjvj) wrote,

I've discovered my best way to celebrate

 my birthday. I take the day and do whatever I wish to do regardless of societal expectations. Sounds pretty simple and normal, yet for co-dependent me it is A Big Deal. Even on my birthdays I'd been working to make sure others were happy and comfortable. Not that doing such is always a bad thing, mind you, but sometimes it is good to just do with only yourself in mind and even when you do for others not to sacrifice Self in the process. Regardless of what some may tout no-one really likes a martyr.

Anyhoo ... I got up early, messed around online, drank coffee and a cup of tea, made my smoothie. All the usual and customary stuff. I went for my park walk (bitter cold this morning - ugh). I cleaned the bathroom and started refreshing the grout lines in the floor. Yeah, I know, right? But it was what I felt like doing. I did some reading. I burnt Nag Champa and did my stretching. I played with the dog and pet the cat. Cleaned up a few dirty dishes, texted some folks. When the hubster asked if I wanted to go to dinner tonight instead of giving an instant yes since he must want to or he'd not have asked I told him I wanted to play it by ear and see how I felt after I did the things I wanted to do.

I of course ran out of time before I ran out of things. *laugh* We did go to dinner - eggplant parmesan - yum! Then coven tonight!

Family celebration is on the 21st. I'll be cooking the entree and it will be made with Love. They will bring sides and those items will also be made with Love. Funny isn't it how you can always taste the Love?

It was a good good day. Perfectly spent as far as I'm concerned with no wasted moments yet no rushing about. I felt the Joy in my core and I let it expand up and out and run through my bones. I'd buried a bit of my Joy in the last six or so months with All The Things going on and I've been digging it out and letting it breathe again the past few weeks. I can't remember the last time I let it get partially buried like that. Years. It is one of the things that makes me recognizable as Me ~ no matter what bizarre and disturbing stuff gets thrown my way I have aways fallen back on my Joy. Yes, unearthing Joy. Happy Birthday to me. *smile*

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