pjvj (pjvj) wrote,

Har har, body. Har har

So I mentioned on Facebook playing "we are dreaming". I was taught the game in the Fall of 2009. I remember when it was because it occurred during the Iron Pentacle workshops. It is a useful but often forgotten-by-me tool. It goes like this: Act as if this life, this reality, is a dream. Then change it. Simple, yes? Yes. And no. As co-creators of this reality we bump into other peoples' creations, of course. Plus we have this Big creation agreement with them, ie. this is "you", this is "me', this is "where you stop and I begin" and all sorts of others. The point though of the "we are dreaming" game is 1) we ARE dreaming and 2) you get to shift your belief system which shifts your reality. Do I really stop here and you there?

I was told originally to do it for a day. Walk through your day saying, "I am dreaming ..... <insert whatever you are doing>". So, upon waking, "I am dreaming that I am waking up" and "I am dreaming that I am going to the bathroom" and "I am dreaming that I am eating breakfast". Yes, you can say these things with a straight face. You'll be surprised. If you believe you are dreaming everything then you get to say, "if this is a dream, what does that mean?" and "since this is a dream I will change this".

The past couple of days I've been utilizing this tool to manage the neck pain that returned not only full force, but at an increased level from before. Or increased area, or well ... no need to map it for you. I can manage it for limited periods of time to not feel the pain with the tool. I'm trying to discern the subtle differences between this tool and dissociation. There are differences, on the levels of awareness and purposeful use over automatic unthinking use. I am practicing it with conscious awareness.

So yay, last night at/after coven the neck/back combo were pissing and moaning rather loudly and on the drive home I grab The Tool in my mind. And because I have practiced at it recently I am a bit faster and soon I feel no pain. Yay! This allows some good thinky thoughts about broken parts of the soul and needs and whatnots. This is important - pain halts coherent assessment of Self. Repeating (for my own benefit) - pain halts coherent assessment of Self. <---- This happens to be true on all levels, not just the physical level. Aaaahhhhhhh .... excellent.

Part the second - [personal profile] seryn you will be pleased to read this - for reasons unknown to me we have had a sudden stoppage by the hubster of the white noise machine for sleeping at night. (Yes, I do remember you people on my f'list who do not understand how no noise makes me feel safer, less likely to be killed in my sleep, but it is still there. Remnants, we so very much love them.) I now have had 3 nights in a row of deeeeeeeep sleep. With crazy, wonderful, non-nightmare dreams which is like that cherry-on-top thing! The downside is I must no longer know how to place my body to go to sleep when I am going to get deep sleep. This has proven problematic for the neck.

Last night I practiced shifting reality through the dream tool before bed (like I said, I can only get it to work for short times so the pain had returned prior to going to bed) and then I lie down, happy in the silence and zoom ........ out I go. I wake up at some ungodly hour, still on my right side, but with my left hand numb. o_O Not "OMGs!! I can't use you!!!" numb, but "just had circulation return pins-and-needles" numb. Except the circulation had not been impaired in any way. I believe a few random cuss words wandered through my head. I shifted, stretched, pulled and then decided to stop rocking the bed and not wake up the hubster. I have a particular move that has worked on the rare occasions in the past something similar has happened. It failed me.

Stubbornly I returned to sleep. I awoke to thumb and forefinger normal, other 3 fingers still not. I've been up for (YeGods!) 2 hours and it is very slighty improved. Because part of my co-created agreement this lifetime involves living in this body (oh irony!) I think I may have to call someone if this persists as the body .... sometimes it does some shit regardless of our dreaming. When this neck thing resurfaced with such force I did my usual, "Bah! I will SMITE you! You shall not stop me!" while telling myself that if it continued for more than a week I would indeed make a phone call. Because I am optimistic, but not usually stupid. And I was happy, feeling confident I would indeed smite the pain within 7 days.

But now this extra thing. And because my primary doc had requested a 6 month follow-up to my neck issues, then demanded one after she saw the most current x-rays back in ... some month ... and depending on how creatively you count "six months" I am due for that appointment (or I was due in March. Or creatively - June or July.) So hhhhmmmm. One week. I will give it the one week.

Thus, the title of this post. I am amused. Part of me is always amused. In any given situation. Added bonus is a corporate visit at work today of which I received the details via text upon awakening this morning. Har har, body. HarBloodyHar.

May we All be Wrapped in Love today. Even me.

This entry was originally posted at http://pj.dreamwidth.org/290410.html. Please comment here or there there using your LJ ID or OpenID.
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