|If you'd wished "Happy Holidays" to the conservative irate Christian I had the misfortune to run across in K-Mart last night you would have been subject to a diatribe at full voice while she followed you. |
She believes there is a War on Christmas™ and that They™ are responsible for it. She did the complete skit - non-believers were going to hell, ruining the country, get every other day of the year to oppress Christians so just leave them alone on Dec 25, ONE DAY! ALL XIANS WANT IS ONE DAY!!!1111!!1!!!!11 It was sad and funny, and ultimately scary the anger with which she spoke.
The catalyst? She went to buy greeting cards and some said "Seasons Greetings" and "Happy Holidays" and she was LIVID. I had just been in the boxed card section before her and 95% were Xmas or Xian specific, but I found some "magic of the season" ones down low. So ... I know she was full of shit.
She turned a corner with her cart and lit in to the first customer she saw. The poor guy didn't how to react. She ended her tirade with a loud pointed "Merry Christmas!" and just stared at the guy until he said it back. LOL She pushed her cart away, smiling that she'd found (she thought) a fellow hater. As I swept past the gentleman I said in stage voice, "Well, THERE'S the Xian spirit!" and kept going.
Within 2 minutes I was in another part of the store and as bad luck would have it, here she comes. A store employee came upon her first and she started the whole thing again, demanding to know, "Why is there nothing Xmas in this store??" [cards, paper, nativity scenes were all about the section she had just come from]. The employees stammered, then left. I kept going.
I was wondering if she'd get around to me so I could have the pleasure of warning her not to get too close since I was one of those evil hellbound heathens and my sins may rub off if she got within 5 feet of me. I really really wanted to rub her arm and yell, "Heathen Cootie!!"
She ended up 2 behind me in the checkout line. The person between us? The poor guy she'd verbally assaulted earlier. She started to say again about her disdain for others and he put a slight smile smile on his face and firmly turned his back to her. He stayed that way and she shut the fuck up. I feel for the checkout guy, even those he was very slow and made a bunch of stupid annoying jokes while he slowly rang me up.
I was really shocked that there are real people out there like that and not just imaginary fans of Bill O'Reilly. I thought a lot of it was just talk show hype. *shudder* And she looked normal. Not unkempt like the crazy person she obviously was. Scary shit.