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Gaslighting - a Must Read

From  [personal profile] madelienegrey 

“A Message To Women From A Man: You Are Not 'Crazy'”


You’re so sensitive. You’re so emotional. You’re defensive. You’re overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You’re crazy! I was just joking, don’t you have a sense of humor? You’re so dramatic. Just get over it already!

Sound familiar?

If you’re a woman, it probably does.

Do you ever hear any of these comments from your spouse, partner, boss, friends, colleagues, or relatives after you have expressed frustration, sadness, or anger about something they have done or said?
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And the act of gaslighting does not simply affect women who are not quite sure of themselves. Even vocal, confident, assertive women are vulnerable to gaslighting.

Why?

Because women bare the brunt of our neurosis. It is much easier for us to place our emotional burdens on the shoulders of our wives, our female friends, our girlfriends, our female employees, our female colleagues, than for us to impose them on the shoulders of men.

It’s a whole lot easier to emotionally manipulate someone who has been conditioned by our society to accept it. We continue to burden women because they don’t refuse our burdens as easily. It’s the ultimate cowardice.

Whether gaslighting is conscious or not, it produces the same result: it renders some women emotionally mute.

These women aren’t able to clearly express to their spouses that what is said or done to them is hurtful. They can’t tell their boss that his behavior is disrespectful and prevents them from doing their best work. They can’t tell their parents that, when they are being critical, they are doing more harm than good.

When these women receive any sort of push back to their reactions, they often brush it off by saying, “Forget it, it’s okay.”

That “forget it” isn’t just about dismissing a thought, it is about self-dismissal. It’s heartbreaking.

No wonder some women are unconsciously passive aggressive when expressing anger, sadness, or frustration. For years, they have been subjected to so much gaslighting that they can no longer express themselves in a way that feels authentic to them.
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con't at title link.....

Don't read the comments. As usual anonymity brings out the ass in many.


This entry was originally posted at http://pj.dreamwidth.org/321148.html. Please comment here or there there using your LJ ID or OpenID.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
musiquephan
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:01 am (UTC)
Wow, that was such a great article....

....hope you don't mind. I boosted the signal in my journal.

Thanks so much for sharing.
pjvj
Sep. 19th, 2011 11:53 am (UTC)
Signal boosts are YAY!! :-D
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )