?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

The Spoon Caddy Theory - for seryn

(And for all the other caregivers. Alternate title "The Anti-Spoon Theory, A Companion Piece".)

I am a spoon caddy. A spoon caddy looks like this:



 

I am useful and needed, but people don't pay me much mind. All they want are the spoons. Always the damn spoons. And those who need the spoons that I hold? People look at them. People ask about them. People offer help to them.

 

It's okay most of the time. The people with the spoons need help. They need to be asked after. They need things like me, the holder. I organize. I keep everything upright. I am durable and stable. I am the backbone of the team, so to speak.

 

I have holes. They allow me to breathe. Over time these holes can get gunked up. Dust collects. Little bits of food stuck on spoons not properly cleansed, tiny chunks that scrape off on the edges, filling the holes, making it harder to catch my breath.

 

No-one notices. Some days it seems as if no-one even cares - all they care about are the spoons and their people users. I dull. I gasp for breath. Somebody should pay attention to the caddy, the one who offers just the right sized spoon when needed. The one who always has a seemingly ample supply. Somebody … somebody should come along here and there and wash me off, clear my holes, give me a shine with a soft cloth.

 

I am the spoon caddy. I am strong, resilient and steadfast. Somebody - anybody - really ought to notice. To offer a buff. To mumble a word of thanks. Every now and then the spoons should go to another holder. Or lie flat on the counter. Or let them be jumbled in the drawer with the forks and the knives and the wee condiment spears. Just for awhile. Just for a short while. The caddy needs a rest. I need. I need a rest.

 



This entry was originally posted at http://pj.dreamwidth.org/320057.html. Please comment here or there there using your LJ ID or OpenID.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
musiquephan
Sep. 15th, 2011 03:02 am (UTC)
THIS.

No shit, Sister. Amen. Zheesh. No wonder I'm tired. LOL I never thought of it quite that way.

Definitely, THIS.
pjvj
Sep. 15th, 2011 03:18 am (UTC)
Thanks!
I wrote it for a friend who's mate is tragically and now most likely terminally ill.

She is exhausted. And there is still a very long road ahead of her. She feels ignored now (and told off by family members all around) and sadly - it is going to get worse.

So she was bitching about The Spoon Theory because so many of use the terms associated with it.

For those who've not yet heard of it it is here: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

About how it doesn't *work* for people like her. So I came with and wrote up a theory for her. I remember caring for my dad (and my mom emotionally while my dad ailed), and my mum while she slowly declined, rebounded, then ultimately declined again and died. And I remember years upon years of caring for Kev as he grew in fits and starts with his illnesses.

I like my little analogy/theory. *grin*
musiquephan
Sep. 15th, 2011 10:51 am (UTC)
Re: Thanks!
I can completely relate to all of that. It's even harder when one does not have the support of family.

::pets her gently::
thtrelady
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:33 am (UTC)
That is brilliant PJ. Thank you.
pjvj
Sep. 15th, 2011 12:07 pm (UTC)
You are welcome. :-)
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )