?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

IP homework

Like all good homework it is both easy and hard.

Run the Iron Pentacle once per day. So, at the class "getting there" was not so hard when you have a good guide who helps with her energy. At home ~cough~ harder. The phone beeps, the dog licks, the cat looks pissed.

Anne said she usually does hers at night, right before sleep. I think this sounds great. Dark, quiet, warm in bed - perfect spot to run energy and rebalance. Last night I came home from working open to close, chatted up the hubster, popped online and answered some emails and posts, passed out in my chair. I rarely do this. Roused myself at 1 a.m. and crawled to bed and thought of running the IP and then fell back to sleep. Yes, I am *that* awesome.

So, bad idea waiting until bed. I did the IP this morning (see what a quick learner I am?) and will do again later in the day to make up for yesterday even though you cannot really make up a missed day of practice because it is like making up sleep. No true makeups.

So, once I settled in all grounded and start to focus and the dog is licking my hands, then my face, then lying on my legs and focus is difficult. I give it time however and give her time to settle and join me. If it doesn't work I can go to another room. I refocus, and at some point she settles between my legs, but I'm not aware of exactly when.

Trying to run the energy is difficult at best. I'm too much in my head. I'm p u s h i n g. Pushpushpush, go, damnit, go. Yeah. Breathe, relax. I tell myself that pushing and trying to barrel through the blocks is really harder than it need be. Settle, relax more, and let the blocks melt away so the energy can just go. Let it run.

Finally, it walks. Eventually it trots. Running it around the circle point to point to point is more successful than running it up, down, across. For a second I think I'll just focus on the "around". Going around the circle I've moved from trot to gallop and it is brighter. This serves only to show me the contrasting dimness of the "lines". So I start again to run the lines. Finally I feel it flowing smoothly (well, smoother anyway). It never brightens to the point of the circle, but it walks freely from sex to pride to self to power to passion to sex.

For reasons I cannot yet explain pride and passion want to flip sides. It is just a mental block. I tell myself to learn it the way I was just taught. I want to be consistent. I want to learn it that way because obviously part of me wants it another way, but I want the discipline and feeling of success of conquering the flipping. I know later with experience I can play with it how I choose. When I finally get the trickle to open to the point of "walking pace" everything is where it belongs without the forceful thinking. Yay!

I hope it stays that way.

Pulling myself back up out of it takes a little longer than I thought it would. When I am fully back in the room I sit up and see Sadie (dog) happily zoned out in the triangle space between my legs. I speak softly and pet her gently awake. She goes pretty quickly from settled and quiet to Yorkie puppypuppypuppy licking. lol

We'll see how the second session later today goes.


This entry was originally posted at http://pj.dreamwidth.org/243507.html. Please comment here or there there using your LJ ID or OpenID.